I used to expect God to always have my back automatically. If anything bad would happen, I assumed it was because I was out of his good graces for one reason or another.

Now, I'm learning that it doesn't work that way.

You can't fall out of God's good graces. He is love. It doesn't stop. A death on a cross doesn't need to be renewed. You were forgiven before you ever sinned. Forgiveness is imminent. 

Also, God doesn't automatically protect you even though he is your protector. He doesn't automatically heal you even though he is your healer. 

What I have learned is that God is a person. Much like an earthly father, you must go to him for the things that you need. He is always with you, so you don't need to travel anywhere. You just have to speak to him. Present your request to him.

I had to lay down my subconscious expectation that God is always hovering over my head to ensure nothing bad happens to me. God is good and he loves me, but he doesn't work that way.

God is relational and he desires a relationship with you.

If God was a genie, doing everything we expect a good God to do for us, we would have no need to pursue relationship with him. He passionately desires to know you and be known by you.

His blessings and protection and healing are readily available to you. All you have to do is drawn near to him and present your requests to him. Pursue a relationship with him and you will have everything you could ever hope for. 

He is a good father with good gifts for you. All you have to do is ask. 

Matthew 7:7
Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and the door will be opened to you. 8 For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.
9 Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? 10 Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? 11 So if you who are evil know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good things to those who ask Him!

Jesus took me on the swings. We played for a moment. and then I asked to speak with the Father. 

Father came, and I felt as though I had been reunited with my home that I had dearly loved and had lost. I felt that I belonged and that I had missed this to the core, Father's presence. 

I felt free to ask anything I wanted. Father wanted to answer my questions. 

"Father, I want to have pure motives towards you and a pure heart. How can I have pure motives?"

"Refining fire. Before you ask for this, consider the cost."

"Does it hurt?"

"Does fire hurt? It burns."

"I've considered the cost, and I choose the fire. Refine me like silver and gold.

​

Tonight was my first engagement with Heavenly Father. I came before him, possibly in his throne room. He invited me into his lap and then into his arms.

I just told him my heart and how grateful I am. I told him how wonderful he is.
It was a joy just to be. To love him without bringing up any regrets or apologies. I willingly set aside any agenda and just boldly engaged in his presence. The joy and security of being in his arms, resting my head on his shoulder, and touching his hair. Gripping his neck tight when I feel any slipping away. 

I saw Heavenly Father holding me in his arms and walking through fire. I was at complete rest on his shoulder. Reminding me that when I walk through the fire I am securely in his arms. I can be at complete rest. Then I saw an image of a transgender woman.

I was then thinking on everything Father did through history, and then I understood he did it for me. He loves me so much that he orchestrated all of history for me. That is true for everyone of us. I then saw that he had me in the palms of his hands. I am protected with a gentle care, as one would care for a baby chick. 

​I then saw him sit me down in front of him. He was kneeling in front of me, touched my face, and helped me put on my shoes as if I was a small child. He is a good father to me, helping to prepare me for where I need to go. As I walk, I hold his hand.

Now he leads me to my bed, to lay down my head and sleep. With a tender kiss on the forehead, I am tucked in and am able to rest with all assurance that my daddy is there.
​

Jesus, what do you want to talk to me about today?
Your heart

What about my heart?
It is good and it is kind. I am proud of your heart.

Thank you, Jesus. How can my heart be better?
It can grow. To love more. To give more.

How can I make it grow?
Stay close to me. Learn from my heart.

Jesus, how do I stay close to you in practice and everyday life?
Take me with you. Invite me in what you're doing and ask me things. Imagine I am there. I will never leave you nor forsake you. I am always there when you call.

How do I keep from being distracted?
Focus takes discipline and practice. Practice focus. Tell distraction to go away. It will listen.

Jesus, what is something that you want me to know?
I am always speaking and you can hear my voice. Don't doubt that. 

Worry is as natural and common as joy or fear or any other emotion humans face. Throughout the Bible, though, we are reminded repeatedly not to worry. It is a lack of faith in an all-powerful, loving God.

How do you be obedient and not worry? Well, I have learned to not worry by facing it, repenting of it, and decidedly walking in faith in the situation.

When I was 20 years old I had a little 1996 Hyundai Accent. It was my first car when I was 16 and the miles were racking up, exceeding 150,000. At that time I was still in school, supporting myself independently, and had no clue how I could buy a new car when the time came.

When I would begin to worry about my car I would turn to the Lord in prayer, tell him that I trusted my situation in his hands, and moved on to another thought. That was six years ago, and God did provide a car for me even though in my mind it was impossible. He has been faithful to provide for me at all times for everything I've needed.

Experiencing God's faithfulness in this area has opened my mind to a deeper concept of not worrying. I've been able to understand that the Lord is our source for everything; He is our father. If your father was the king, as our father in heaven is, you would have no want for anything. You would dwell in the security and comfort of knowing that if it really came down to it, Dad would step in and take care of what you needed. I believe we have this in the Lord. Now, this applies to physical needs, financial, etc., but I believe there is application on a spiritual level as well.

On more occasions than I want to admit I have found myself in poor places spiritually. I was either walking in sin, not spending time in the Word, or battling with spiritual complacency. God is always faithful to pull me out no matter what my soul is drowning in. Praise the Lord, He has built my faith so much that I can trust Him in that. I don't have to stress or worry when I'm in those dark places.

Granted, this security probably puts me in a space of complacency I shouldn't be in. I might struggle longer than I would if the situation was really gnawing at me, but maybe not.

I love the concept of the law of undulation in C.S. Lewis' book, Screwtape Letters. Basically, the idea is that mortals (you and me) are subject to time and spiritual beings (spirits) are not. Because of this, we are in a constant wave of good times and bad times, peaks and troughs, mountaintops and valleys. God knows this, and the sooner we recognize this life pattern the sooner we can realize how important our responses, actions, and attitudes are during these bad times.

My suggestion is walking in peace, trust, and complete faith in the God who takes care of all of our needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:19. He knows what we need when we are not right with Him spiritually, and He is always there with open arms and a supporting hand.

Should we not worry even when the situation seems appropriate for it such as times of spiritual failings? I would love to hear your thoughts in the comments below...

A vessel is a clay container used commonly in the Mediterranean world for different purposes. There are seven unique vessels found in the word of God. They represent each one of us, usually at different stages in our life and walk with God.

As you identify with the vessels listed here, I hope you aspire to become the Chosen Vessel. God’s desire is that all would desire to be this vessel, and what an honor it would be to be the potter’s chosen work.

The Vessel of Honor

“if anyone cleanses himself from these things, he will be a vessel for honor, sanctified, useful to the Master, prepared for every good work. Now flee from youthful lusts and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart.” – 2 Timonthy 2:19-22

This best-selling vessel was of great use to every household. It was carried daily to be washed and filled with water for the family and any guests. Sitting by the door at the home’s entrance, it provided water for drinking and washing and was available to all.

“God has placed vessels of honor within every church. They are those who have found their source of fullness, who go daily to the streams of refreshing water for a new supply. They know the way to the wellspring of wholeness and are ready to share that supply with anyone who asks… Jesus saw Himself as a vessel of honor. the life-giving thirst-quenching water He offered was Himself.”

The Vessel of Mercy

“And that he might make known the riches of his glory on the vessels of mercy, which he had afore prepared unto glory” – Romans 9:23

The vessel of mercy is very similar to the vessel of honor. It was easily purchased and located in the city square and lined the streets. It was to provide water for strangers and travelers.

“The significance of the vessel of mercy lies in its easy accessibility. Carry the water of life to your job site. Vessels of mercy are not afraid of action. They meet the challenge and bloom where they are planted. They can turn a garbage can into a victory garden.”

The Chosen Vessel

 ”But the Lord said unto him, Go thy way: for he is a chosen vessel unto me, to bear my name before the Gentiles, and kings, and the children of Israel” - Acts 9:15

The chosen vessel is special. It was specific and perfect in formation. The potter prized this vessel because it was the best work he could produce. He stamped his name on it and knew it would never bring him shame but always glory and honor.

“If God singles you out to be a chosen vessel, He will also provide you with a special grace. For, with the calling to be a chosen vessel comes the need for a stricter discipline and a more intense commitment than is required of other vessels. When God forges character, He cuts deeply. I have found that God’s intention is to take from our hearts everything that we love most. Everything we trust in, everything that might compete with God, must be chiseled away. Essentially they are concerned, loving, God-filled human beings who are available and touchable. Chosen vessels know they are clay.”

The Clean Vessel

“And they shall bring all your brethren for an offering unto the LORD out of all nations upon horses, and in chariots, and in litters, and upon mules, and upon swift beasts, to my holy mountain Jerusalem, saith the LORD, as the children of Israel bring an offering in a clean vessel into the house of the LORD.” – Isaiah 66:20

What vessel will you be?